I realise this is a bit late, but I've finally gotten around to posting Billy's birth story! Apologies in advance for anything 'gross'... but that's what happens!
On Sunday 30 May, I woke up feeling pretty rubbish. I had no energy all day and didn’t move far from my bed. I started getting aching pains in my tummy, which basically felt like period pains, though at this stage I just thought I was sore from being in heels at a wedding all day on Saturday! The pains continued through the night but were nothing major and I had a pretty good sleep. Little did I know that would be my last decent sleep in a while!
I had my 38 week check up at 10am on Monday morning, and I knew Dr Turner would be doing an internal exam to see if my cervix was favourable for an induction (so we knew when to get Patrick home). I told him about my on and off cramps, so he did the exam, and straight away told me to get Patrick on the plane ASAP!! I was 3cm dilated and fully effaced therefore an induction was incredibly favourable, if I didn’t ‘go sooner’. He said I wouldn’t need the gel to soften my cervix (a procedure that is done the night before), and that I would just need to go in and have my waters broken. Dr Turner called the hospital straight away and asked what availabilities they had, and they said Tuesday morning, or Friday morning. It was currently 10.30am on Monday! I said I wasn’t sure whether Patrick could get back for the next morning, so Dr Turner booked me in for Friday, and put me on the waiting lists for Wednesday and Thursday, though he didn’t think I’d last that long.
I left the hospital feeling like I had a million things to do! I had to call Patrick and find out when he could get back. I knew in myself that the baby wouldn’t wait til Friday! I wasn’t even sure whether I’d last the day/night. I called him and told him what Dr Turner said and I think he fell off his chair! He said he’d speak to his boss and hopefully get on a plane that night. Of course his boss was in South Africa and it was 2am there! But, a couple of hours later, Patrick called me and said he’d be coming home that night. His flight was to arrive at Coolangatta at 9am and he’d be getting in his car and driving straight to the Wesley. I called the hospital and changed my booking to the next morning. I was having the baby!
As the day went on, it became more obvious that my pains were now contractions, though still quite infrequent, ranging from 20-30mins apart. I packed all my bags and made sure I was completely organised to go to hospital, be it during the night, or when I was meant to go at 6am. The contractions became more frequent during the night, and were too painful to sleep through. I got absoloutely no sleep! I started timing them and taking notice of when they hit their peak. They still varied from 5-15 mins apart. Some were incredibly painful, others were fine. It was quite confusing!
At 6am, I was shown into my delivery room at the Wesley. Mum was with me and was going to stay until Patrick arrived. Dr Turner arrived shortly after to check how I’d progressed during the night and to break my waters. I was now a good 4cm dilated (I’d been hoping for more) so he decided to leave me as I was until 10am, on the off chance that it all moved very quickly once my waters were broken. He said he’d hate for Patrick to miss it after he was coming all this way. I was a bit disappointed because I assumed it was going to take hours and I wanted to get things moving faster. I had 4 or so hours to kill in my delivery room so I had a quick doze, and mum and I chatted while I walked round and round, and bounced on the fit ball trying to move him down further.
Dr Turner arrived back at about 10.15am, double checked Patrick was on his way (he was, albeit half an hour behind schedule) and went ahead with breaking my waters. I thought it was going to be incredibly painful (as I found internal exams to be) but it actually wasn’t that bad. I’d heard mixed things about how much fluid comes out – some people have loads, some people have a trickle – so I was amazed to feel this massive gush! Dr Turner had always said ‘Good amount of fluid in the sac’ at my appointments but I thought that was just standard. The warm fluid felt pretty disgusting between my legs, but the feeling of it being ruptured actually felt good, like a big release of pressure. I was then given a massive pad to wear, and it was time to wait it out!
The contractions came pretty hard and fast after that. With every contraction, I had a big leak of blood streaked fluid and I felt most comfortable on the toilet. I think I went about 10 times in half an hour! The contractions started lasting about a minute and coming every 4-5 minutes. I could no longer talk through them. I bounced on the fit ball in between them, and as I could feel a contraction building up, I had to stand, and lean over the bench. I tried to think of anything and everything that might get me through each one. I thought of Patrick arriving soon, and the holidays we’d take as a little family. The contractions were an anomaly I can’t even describe. The pain was like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.
It was 11am now, and we expected Patrick at any time. My midwife, Michelle, came to check on me at this stage, and asked how my contractions were progressing ('So freaking painful!'). She said they weren’t coming frequent enough ('Seriously?!?), and that Dr Turner wanted to start me on oxytocin, through a cannula, at midday to make them come on quicker ('Are you kidding me?!?). She said I would need pain relief with the oxytocin (as it speeds up and intensifies things) so to think about the gas, pethidine, or epidural. Things felt like they were moving pretty quick to me but I figured they'd done this a million times before and who was I to argue.. She popped out to set it up and in the mean time, Patrick arrived. I think I forgot about the pain for about 20 seconds – it was amazing to see him. But of course we didn’t have long before the peak of the next contraction hit and I couldn’t talk or do anything but lean over the bench and pray that I was going to get through all this! It had been wonderful having mum there, but she gave me a hug, wished us all the best, and left us to have our baby.
Patrick got the hang of things very quickly - when to talk, when not to talk and when to rub my lower back - and helped me through the next few contractions before Michelle came back to set up the cannula. They were getting so incredibly painful and it became hard to distinguish between the peaks and the ‘rest periods’. It was just incredibly intense and constant pain. I wasn't sure there was anything in the world that was worth all this. Michelle told me it was going to get alot worse and I wondered how on earth I was going to survive the rest of the afternoon. I had to lie down on the bed to have the cannula put in and there was nothing worse than lying down and trying to stay still while the tube was inserted into my hand. I curled up on the bed and tried to breathe through the pain but it was incredibly difficult. Patrick asked Michelle how long she expected things would go on for and she said ‘til the evening’ (it was now midday), so he asked if I’d mind if he popped out to grab a drink. I didn’t care about anything except trying not to die! Michelle ran some water through the tube to make sure it was all set up properly, ready for the oxytocin to be put in. The water felt nice and cold through my veins and distracted me for a second, but I was in so much pain. Michelle sat down with me for a second and told me that the contractions were going to get a lot worse so suggested I try the gas. I was willing to try anything at this stage, so she gave me the gas and told me to suck on it hard when I felt the contraction coming on so by the time it hit its peak, I was high and it took some of pain away. I tried to do what she said but I was incredibly uncomfortable and starting to feel a bit distressed. I tried to suck on it but dropped it. I tried again but couldn’t tell when the contractions were hitting as it just felt long one massive long peak. Patrick came back at this stage with his Coke and MnM’s to get him through the afternoon, and got straight back into reassuring me and telling me I was doing great. I didn’t feel like I was doing great – if this was how I was feeling at 5cm, how on earth was I going to be getting to 10cm? I started feeling really sick and faint, and then automatically thought ‘Oh my gosh, if I faint I’m going to have to have a caesarean’ which I really didn’t want. I told Michelle I felt faint and sick and then I think I made a bit of a grunting sound to which she quickly said ‘Do you feel the need to push?’ I remember yelling out YES and it felt like a big relief to push out the words. She wasted no time in checking me and said ‘You’re having a baby.’
DUH!!!! So, in a mad rush, she shouted out to another nurse, paged Dr Turner, started pulling out all the equipment, and turned me on my back. I was so relieved we were at this stage and felt quite an adrenalin rush, but obviously had absoloutely no idea of what was to come. I started panicking that they were still going to administer the oxytocin, when speeding up my labour any more was clearly the last thing I needed! Fortunately, she assured me they wouldn’t. The next few minutes were a bit of a blur as I tried to breathe through the pain, but Dr Turner arrived soon enough and it was time to push. He instructed me to push with everything I had?? Push from where? Again, how painful it was and how hard I was pushing is completely indescribable. Unfortunately, the intensity of my contractions seemed to die down at this stage, which was incredibly frustrating as I couldn’t push as hard, but it wasn’t too long before they stepped up again. He said I could probably fit in 3 big pushes with every contraction and kept telling me not to ‘waste the contraction’. I found this very helpful and encouraging as I pushed from I don’t even know where. I felt like my brain was about to explode. I was hot, sweaty and my hair was sticking to me. I’d been wearing it out and had a hair tie on my wrist to put it up when things got bad but it happened so fast that I didn’t have a chance before the cannula was put in. Nug kept cooling me down with a wet facecloth on my forehead, and comforted me with encouraging words. He was amazing and handled it all really well!
At first, with the pushing, I just felt outrageous pain and couldn’t really feel the baby moving ‘down and out’ so felt a bit frustrated that it was hurting so much and he wasn’t coming out, but Dr Turner kept encouraging me and saying my pushes were great. Finally, with a big push, I could feel that he was right there, and then finally stretching me open. The infamous crowning burnt and stung and hurt so much! I think I let the ‘f’ word slip and Dr Turner told me it was only the beginning! Without even thinking, I reached down there to touch his head as reassurance that he was coming out! And then as the contraction finished and I stopped that push, he ‘slipped’ back inside. This was very deflating and I felt so frustrated, I just wanted the contraction to keep going so I could get him out. Dr Turner was so encouraging and said it would only be a few more contractions until he was out. He reminded me not to waste them, and that it was two steps forward, one step backwards! With each contraction, I pushed with all my might, a few times. I could see this thing start to stick out more and more and thought to myself that I was having an alien, or our baby was coming out a different way as it looked nothing like a head, but I didn’t care too much about anything at this stage. Dr Turner was now instructing me on how hard, how long, when and when not to push. With the baby’s head in such a delicate position (I felt like I was on fire), this was to help avoid tearing. I concentrated and listened so so carefully to everything he said, and before I knew it, his head was out. Dr Turner told me to give one last medium sized push, and then, at 12.49pm, there he was - a slimey, beautiful, tiny little mess with a cry that was magical.
Within seconds, all the pain went away and my heart was now this screaming little bundle on my chest. I had no idea I could feel so many emotions all at once. It was love at first sight. It didn’t take much for the placenta to come out and then Dr Turner took 15 mins to stitch up a small (but incredibly painful) labia graze and we were done. I lay there for about an hour with him in my arms, and suckling at my breast, before I got up to have a shower (and lost half my body weight in blood but that requires a whole new post in itself) and he was bathed by a midwife and Patrick.
To date, giving birth to our little Billy was the most rewarding, empowering thing I have done and I would do it all again tomorrow to feel the love and joy he has brought to our lives.
Thanks for following and sharing such a special time.
xx Lucy, Nug and Billy
