16 weeks

I went off to my scan yesterday, hoping the baby would co-operate and let us have a look between its legs but I just KNEW it wouldn't. Dr Katayama manoeuvred the doppler over my abdomen for 10 minutes , with no luck, and concluded, 'How do I say?.... maybe no protruding... so, maybe girl,' though he wasn't convinced the angle was a good one. He said it will be easier at my next scan at 20 weeks on 19 January. Most importantly, the appointment was a great one. The heartbeat was loud and strong, at 160bpm, and the ultrasound machine even shows the blood flowing through her body (her?!). She's measuring 8.4cm from the top of her head to her bony buttocks. (I'm sorry, little one, if we do, in fact, find out you are a boy in 4 weeks time!)

Amongst many, many old wives tales, I've just read that baby boys bring beauty to the mother, and baby girls take it away (for themselves), so going by that, I think I have a baby girl in my tummy! I bought our baby 'girl' her first Christmas present yesterday, which REALLY wouldn't suit a boy, so let's hope Dr Katayama is right! I just couldn't resist.

I really noticed yesterday, for the first time, that my tummy is sticking out a little more, (though my weight or tummy measurement hasn't changed from my last appointment). I just look a little bit fat! I'm looking forward to actually looking pregnant, and not just a bit tubby. Nug has promised he won't call me fat 'too often'. Another thing I've noticed, I now cry at anything and everything. Christmas carols are the end of me at the moment, and of course the shops are filled with them, albeit terrible Japanese renditions!

Merry Christmas everyone xx

Boshi Techo

Today, I went and picked up my Boshi Techo, which is translated to Mother/Child Handbook, but is really just a massive pile of books and leaflets that I can't read. I think there are some coupons that give me a discount on some of my tests and bloodwork (excellent), and a very thorough book in English that charts my child's condition up until 6 years old (I'll be long gone) but most importantly, is this fantastic little key chain that categorises me with the disabled and elderly, and allows me to sit in the special seats on the train. Repeat fainting scenario avoided! Me 1 - Baby 0.

So, I've started to feel better! Last Tuesday night - the night before I was 14 weeks - I had a stern word with the baby and told it that even though I'm still here to look after it and keep it safe etc, its getting 'bigger' now and is about time it started 'looking after itself' a bit more and stopped (for no better words) killing me.

Sure enough, on Wednesday, I felt better! Nug was able to get away from work for a couple of hours so I asked if he wanted to go out to lunch with me. I could have told him we'd just just won the lotto, or that Robbie Deans called and needed his expert opinion, he was THAT excited. I was back! I've been on the improve little by little every day since then so I am sure the second trimester is going to hold much more exciting things for me.

The Belly

I'm definately not in the habit of putting 'exposed' photos of myself up for all to see but a few people have been asking me for the money shot.... So, I put on my best tracksuit and here it is. This is today - at 13 weeks and 4 days. I think I am starting to fill out a little bit where my hip bones used to be, but that could just be all the potato I've been eating. I can't get enough, especially mashed, with salt. Yum.

Morning sickness is still lingering, mainly in the afternoon and evening. Everyone says the best thing to do is eat through the nausea, so I do, then it makes me sick, then I'm hungry again, so I eat, and then I'm sick. It's a vicious cycle. I've been getting some energy back during the day which is a good sign, fingers crossed. No marathons just yet though.

My next doctor's appointment is on 22 December and hopefully we'll be able to find out the baby's sex. We're both dying to know. I have a feeling it's a boy, though everyone else I've spoken to seems to think it's a girl. I absoloutely don't mind either way. Nug says he doesn't either, but I think he 51% wants a boy, as opposed to 49% for a girl. Of course, a healthy bub trumps all.

25 November - 12 weeks

Even though the little monkey has taken absoloutely everything out of me in the past month, I was quite nervous for this scan. Firstly, it was 4 weeks since my last one, secondly, I reallllllllly didn't want to faint again (I fainted for a second time, on the train, a couple of weeks ago), and thirdly, I just can't help it... I think its my job to worry now?!

The morning didn't start particularly well - the baby didn't like getting up early and being rushed into raisen toast and apple juice for breakfast, so all of that came back up straight away (the toast still warm and the juice still cold). Normally, I have to stay in bed as long as I can, and get up and have breakfast very slowly, something which I am very grateful to be able to do. (Yay for being a housewife in Japan!)

I was very happy to have my first external ultrasound! The baby was wiggling around lots and moving its arms and legs. I also heard its heartbeat for the first time. It was lovely! He or she is now 5.9cm long. I'm not sure how clear the ultrasound pic comes up, but you can see its nose sticking out and the indents of its mouth. It's amazing how much it looks like a little person so early on. Dr Katayama took bub's head measurements and everything is right on track. I've lost 4kgs but will have plenty of time to make up for that later. When I thought it wasn't possible, the baby made me sicker than usual for the rest of the day - it seems bub doesn't like being photographed (doesn't take after its father!).

Speaking of Nug, he has been wonderful. He goes and gets all the groceries after work cause the smell makes me gag, and I'm too scared of fainting to go alone; he downloads shows I might like to watch because I'm too sick to do anything else; he is always trying to buy me new food things that might miraculously cure morning sickness; and he cuts up my fruit because he does it how I like it and I'll probably chop my finger off anyway. He still hugs me super tight and rubs my back after he's heard me loudly vomiting all night, and still tells me how beautiful I am even though I haven't worn make up in months, desperately need my hair done, and get too dizzy in the shower to shave or wash my hair as often as I should. I'm very lucky to have him.

So, I'm off to try and win my next battle. What will stay down for dinner?

28 October - 8 weeks

Since my last appointment, I had been throwing up non stop so definately knew something was still in there and growing strong. My goal was to get to the hospital without being sick in the taxi! Surprisingly, I was succesful.

So, back to Dr Katayama and that chair, as 8 weeks is still too early for an external ultrasound. The nausea and desire to rush to bathroom subsided for the few minutes that I saw our little baby on the screen again. This time, looking more like a person and measuring just under 1.5cm. Its little heart was still beating strong and I was told my estimated due date of 9 June.

I was then told that an English speaking nurse would come and speak with me and go through some basics about the hospital. Yay! She was quite helpful and started to show me around but I was quite weak and could feel myself getting dizzy. We tried to make our way to sit down, but it was too late and I fainted in the middle of the packed waiting room. It was quite embarassing and I really wished Nug was there! They said an IV for rehydration might be necessary but to see how I went for a few days. Fortunately, I was able to keep some ice cubes down here and there so the IV was avoided!

My smell has been heightened by about a thousand percent and its horrible. Nug bought himself what he thought was potato or cream of chicken soup for dinner one night when he was sick. When he got home, I read the label and it said potato and clam, and he was disappointed but thought he'd try it anyway. Within 5 seconds of it being heated in the microwave, I was curled up around the toilet. I could smell it through the whole house. If he has a glass of wine at home, he has to have a shower before coming near me, and if he's been out boozing (twice), we sleep in separate beds because the smell is just so overpowering!

14 October - 1st Doctor's Appointment

I was quite nervous for my first appoinment. Not only was I hoping everything was going well with the baby, but it was my first time to a Japanese doctor and the language barrier is always a concern. It was now 6 weeks since the first day of my LMP (last menstrual period) so the baby should be big enough to be seen on an ultrasound.

Fortunately, Nug was able to take an hour off in the morning and come with me, though it turned out to be pointless as he wasn't allowed to see anything anyway. (Heaven knows how they think I ended up pregnant!) The 'chair' they put me in to do the internal ultrasound was typical of a Japanese contraption and slightly mortifying, though not as bad as the curtain covering my face to 'protect my privacy'. I needed to see the doctor's face so I could lipread the basic English he spoke (baby, pregnant, amniotic sac), and process the little bit of Japanese I understand!

So yes, indeed there was a baby in there - only 1.2mm(!!) in size, but definately there. It was amazing to see its heart beating, just a flickering on and off, but very clear. And that was it! I was sent on my way with my little ultrasound picture and another appointment for 2 weeks time.

In the ultrasound picture, the black blob is the sac full of amniotic fluid, and in between the two plus signs (it's very small, I know), is our little blob.

As the day went on, I started to feel quite tired and nauseas and I wondered whether this was the beginning of the infamous morning sickness?

Pregnant!

I'll never forget this day! 29 September, 2009. It was truly the most surreal feeling. I didn't know what to do but jump around the house and wonder whether my contacts were playing up. Nug was at work and I didn't want to tell him over the phone, so I waited til he got home - late, of course. I let him unwind and get all of his rugby stuff off his chest before he finally said, 'So, how was your day? What's new with you?' I said the words outloud for the first time and the smile on his face said it all.