The Final Installment!

I realise this is a bit late, but I've finally gotten around to posting Billy's birth story! Apologies in advance for anything 'gross'... but that's what happens!

On Sunday 30 May, I woke up feeling pretty rubbish. I had no energy all day and didn’t move far from my bed. I started getting aching pains in my tummy, which basically felt like period pains, though at this stage I just thought I was sore from being in heels at a wedding all day on Saturday! The pains continued through the night but were nothing major and I had a pretty good sleep. Little did I know that would be my last decent sleep in a while!

I had my 38 week check up at 10am on Monday morning, and I knew Dr Turner would be doing an internal exam to see if my cervix was favourable for an induction (so we knew when to get Patrick home). I told him about my on and off cramps, so he did the exam, and straight away told me to get Patrick on the plane ASAP!! I was 3cm dilated and fully effaced therefore an induction was incredibly favourable, if I didn’t ‘go sooner’. He said I wouldn’t need the gel to soften my cervix (a procedure that is done the night before), and that I would just need to go in and have my waters broken. Dr Turner called the hospital straight away and asked what availabilities they had, and they said Tuesday morning, or Friday morning. It was currently 10.30am on Monday! I said I wasn’t sure whether Patrick could get back for the next morning, so Dr Turner booked me in for Friday, and put me on the waiting lists for Wednesday and Thursday, though he didn’t think I’d last that long.

I left the hospital feeling like I had a million things to do! I had to call Patrick and find out when he could get back. I knew in myself that the baby wouldn’t wait til Friday! I wasn’t even sure whether I’d last the day/night. I called him and told him what Dr Turner said and I think he fell off his chair! He said he’d speak to his boss and hopefully get on a plane that night. Of course his boss was in South Africa and it was 2am there! But, a couple of hours later, Patrick called me and said he’d be coming home that night. His flight was to arrive at Coolangatta at 9am and he’d be getting in his car and driving straight to the Wesley. I called the hospital and changed my booking to the next morning. I was having the baby!

As the day went on, it became more obvious that my pains were now contractions, though still quite infrequent, ranging from 20-30mins apart. I packed all my bags and made sure I was completely organised to go to hospital, be it during the night, or when I was meant to go at 6am. The contractions became more frequent during the night, and were too painful to sleep through. I got absoloutely no sleep! I started timing them and taking notice of when they hit their peak. They still varied from 5-15 mins apart. Some were incredibly painful, others were fine. It was quite confusing!

At 6am, I was shown into my delivery room at the Wesley. Mum was with me and was going to stay until Patrick arrived. Dr Turner arrived shortly after to check how I’d progressed during the night and to break my waters. I was now a good 4cm dilated (I’d been hoping for more) so he decided to leave me as I was until 10am, on the off chance that it all moved very quickly once my waters were broken. He said he’d hate for Patrick to miss it after he was coming all this way. I was a bit disappointed because I assumed it was going to take hours and I wanted to get things moving faster. I had 4 or so hours to kill in my delivery room so I had a quick doze, and mum and I chatted while I walked round and round, and bounced on the fit ball trying to move him down further.

Dr Turner arrived back at about 10.15am, double checked Patrick was on his way (he was, albeit half an hour behind schedule) and went ahead with breaking my waters. I thought it was going to be incredibly painful (as I found internal exams to be) but it actually wasn’t that bad. I’d heard mixed things about how much fluid comes out – some people have loads, some people have a trickle – so I was amazed to feel this massive gush! Dr Turner had always said ‘Good amount of fluid in the sac’ at my appointments but I thought that was just standard. The warm fluid felt pretty disgusting between my legs, but the feeling of it being ruptured actually felt good, like a big release of pressure. I was then given a massive pad to wear, and it was time to wait it out!

The contractions came pretty hard and fast after that. With every contraction, I had a big leak of blood streaked fluid and I felt most comfortable on the toilet. I think I went about 10 times in half an hour! The contractions started lasting about a minute and coming every 4-5 minutes. I could no longer talk through them. I bounced on the fit ball in between them, and as I could feel a contraction building up, I had to stand, and lean over the bench. I tried to think of anything and everything that might get me through each one. I thought of Patrick arriving soon, and the holidays we’d take as a little family. The contractions were an anomaly I can’t even describe. The pain was like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.

It was 11am now, and we expected Patrick at any time. My midwife, Michelle, came to check on me at this stage, and asked how my contractions were progressing ('So freaking painful!'). She said they weren’t coming frequent enough ('Seriously?!?), and that Dr Turner wanted to start me on oxytocin, through a cannula, at midday to make them come on quicker ('Are you kidding me?!?). She said I would need pain relief with the oxytocin (as it speeds up and intensifies things) so to think about the gas, pethidine, or epidural. Things felt like they were moving pretty quick to me but I figured they'd done this a million times before and who was I to argue.. She popped out to set it up and in the mean time, Patrick arrived. I think I forgot about the pain for about 20 seconds – it was amazing to see him. But of course we didn’t have long before the peak of the next contraction hit and I couldn’t talk or do anything but lean over the bench and pray that I was going to get through all this! It had been wonderful having mum there, but she gave me a hug, wished us all the best, and left us to have our baby.

Patrick got the hang of things very quickly - when to talk, when not to talk and when to rub my lower back - and helped me through the next few contractions before Michelle came back to set up the cannula. They were getting so incredibly painful and it became hard to distinguish between the peaks and the ‘rest periods’. It was just incredibly intense and constant pain. I wasn't sure there was anything in the world that was worth all this. Michelle told me it was going to get alot worse and I wondered how on earth I was going to survive the rest of the afternoon. I had to lie down on the bed to have the cannula put in and there was nothing worse than lying down and trying to stay still while the tube was inserted into my hand. I curled up on the bed and tried to breathe through the pain but it was incredibly difficult. Patrick asked Michelle how long she expected things would go on for and she said ‘til the evening’ (it was now midday), so he asked if I’d mind if he popped out to grab a drink. I didn’t care about anything except trying not to die! Michelle ran some water through the tube to make sure it was all set up properly, ready for the oxytocin to be put in. The water felt nice and cold through my veins and distracted me for a second, but I was in so much pain. Michelle sat down with me for a second and told me that the contractions were going to get a lot worse so suggested I try the gas. I was willing to try anything at this stage, so she gave me the gas and told me to suck on it hard when I felt the contraction coming on so by the time it hit its peak, I was high and it took some of pain away. I tried to do what she said but I was incredibly uncomfortable and starting to feel a bit distressed. I tried to suck on it but dropped it. I tried again but couldn’t tell when the contractions were hitting as it just felt long one massive long peak. Patrick came back at this stage with his Coke and MnM’s to get him through the afternoon, and got straight back into reassuring me and telling me I was doing great. I didn’t feel like I was doing great – if this was how I was feeling at 5cm, how on earth was I going to be getting to 10cm? I started feeling really sick and faint, and then automatically thought ‘Oh my gosh, if I faint I’m going to have to have a caesarean’ which I really didn’t want. I told Michelle I felt faint and sick and then I think I made a bit of a grunting sound to which she quickly said ‘Do you feel the need to push?’ I remember yelling out YES and it felt like a big relief to push out the words. She wasted no time in checking me and said ‘You’re having a baby.’

DUH!!!! So, in a mad rush, she shouted out to another nurse, paged Dr Turner, started pulling out all the equipment, and turned me on my back. I was so relieved we were at this stage and felt quite an adrenalin rush, but obviously had absoloutely no idea of what was to come. I started panicking that they were still going to administer the oxytocin, when speeding up my labour any more was clearly the last thing I needed! Fortunately, she assured me they wouldn’t. The next few minutes were a bit of a blur as I tried to breathe through the pain, but Dr Turner arrived soon enough and it was time to push. He instructed me to push with everything I had?? Push from where? Again, how painful it was and how hard I was pushing is completely indescribable. Unfortunately, the intensity of my contractions seemed to die down at this stage, which was incredibly frustrating as I couldn’t push as hard, but it wasn’t too long before they stepped up again. He said I could probably fit in 3 big pushes with every contraction and kept telling me not to ‘waste the contraction’. I found this very helpful and encouraging as I pushed from I don’t even know where. I felt like my brain was about to explode. I was hot, sweaty and my hair was sticking to me. I’d been wearing it out and had a hair tie on my wrist to put it up when things got bad but it happened so fast that I didn’t have a chance before the cannula was put in. Nug kept cooling me down with a wet facecloth on my forehead, and comforted me with encouraging words. He was amazing and handled it all really well!

At first, with the pushing, I just felt outrageous pain and couldn’t really feel the baby moving ‘down and out’ so felt a bit frustrated that it was hurting so much and he wasn’t coming out, but Dr Turner kept encouraging me and saying my pushes were great. Finally, with a big push, I could feel that he was right there, and then finally stretching me open. The infamous crowning burnt and stung and hurt so much! I think I let the ‘f’ word slip and Dr Turner told me it was only the beginning! Without even thinking, I reached down there to touch his head as reassurance that he was coming out! And then as the contraction finished and I stopped that push, he ‘slipped’ back inside. This was very deflating and I felt so frustrated, I just wanted the contraction to keep going so I could get him out. Dr Turner was so encouraging and said it would only be a few more contractions until he was out. He reminded me not to waste them, and that it was two steps forward, one step backwards! With each contraction, I pushed with all my might, a few times. I could see this thing start to stick out more and more and thought to myself that I was having an alien, or our baby was coming out a different way as it looked nothing like a head, but I didn’t care too much about anything at this stage. Dr Turner was now instructing me on how hard, how long, when and when not to push. With the baby’s head in such a delicate position (I felt like I was on fire), this was to help avoid tearing. I concentrated and listened so so carefully to everything he said, and before I knew it, his head was out. Dr Turner told me to give one last medium sized push, and then, at 12.49pm, there he was - a slimey, beautiful, tiny little mess with a cry that was magical.

Within seconds, all the pain went away and my heart was now this screaming little bundle on my chest. I had no idea I could feel so many emotions all at once. It was love at first sight. It didn’t take much for the placenta to come out and then Dr Turner took 15 mins to stitch up a small (but incredibly painful) labia graze and we were done. I lay there for about an hour with him in my arms, and suckling at my breast, before I got up to have a shower (and lost half my body weight in blood but that requires a whole new post in itself) and he was bathed by a midwife and Patrick.

To date, giving birth to our little Billy was the most rewarding, empowering thing I have done and I would do it all again tomorrow to feel the love and joy he has brought to our lives.

Thanks for following and sharing such a special time.

xx Lucy, Nug and Billy

16 days to go!

The count down is definately on! Only 16 days now til my 'guess' date, so it could really happen at any time. I'm really excited and really ready to meet our little boy. My body is starting to get achey and sore and tired, and I'm really feeling the exhaustion of carrying around this extra 10 kgs. He can't come soon enough!

I had my weekly check-up on Friday and all was extremely positive. Bub's head is atleast half way engaged into my pelvis which Dr Turner was very happy with. I'd had my last lot of blood tests taken a few days earlier and they all came back fine too, so I'm basically ready to go! Dr Turner will still be doing an internal exam on me next Monday to determine if and when we can book me in for an induction. Then, we can get Nug on the plane back here!

On Saturday, I did a tour of the labour and maternity ward at the Wesley. I've never seen the inside of a delivery room before so that was very interesting! The rooms you stay in afterwards look very comfortable and the midwives were lovely, so I know we'll be quite happy there. I can't believe how close it is.

Choosing a name has been a little bit difficult though I think we have finally decided. I guess you can never really know for sure til you meet little bub, but I'm pretty sure we'll stick with what we've chosen. I think we're still deciding on a middle name!

Enjoy the latest pic of my massive belly!

Start of my 9th month!

Just a quick update after my appointment yesterday. I left feeling very happy and satisfied! Dr Turner said that bub has grown alot in the past 3 weeks (telllll me about it.. my tummy is massssive!) and he's nice and strong. The baby is in a good position and his head is settled right down. He was able to tell me the baby's current weight, and what he estimates he'll weigh at birth. At the moment, he's 2.781 kgs... a far cry from what he started out as! And Dr Turner said he'll probably be about 8 pounds (about 3.6 kgs) at birth. A good size, apparently!

I reminded Dr Turner of Nug and my 'situation' - in that Nug is over in Japan basically until it's go time! If bub comes early, then he will miss the birth. Of course, just to make things more confusing, Nug will now be on a tour to Malaysia from 8 - 12 June (due date is 10th), so wherever in the world he is, hopefully we'll be able to find him! Dr Turner suggested that we do an internal exam at 39 weeks, and if my cervix is effaced and dilated, then an induction will work, so we'll book it and get Nug on his way!

I also asked about hiccups! The baby gets them atleast once a day and I was a bit concerned, but Dr Turner said it's a good sign and means that their lungs are developed and working well. Good to hear.

We talked about breast-feeding and he said that no one will hold back in telling me what to do, and that all the information will be conflicting! So, take it all with a grain of salt, remember I'm the mother, and just do whatever works for me. More good advice, I think.

I had to go down to the labour ward to have a shot of Anti D in my leg. (Because I have a negative blood type, and Nug (we think) has a positive blood type, the baby may also be positive. This means, that during pregnancy and labour, there's a risk that some of the baby's blood cells can get into my blood stream and I'll form antibodies against the baby's blood.) Anyway, this needle is common/standard (better to be safe than sorry) and the only reason I bring it up is cause I got to go down to the labour ward and see all the tiny little babies in the Special Care Nursery and the proud parents wandering the halls with their newborns. It was so precious, and hard to believe that will be me/us in 4 weeks (give or take)! I tried not to think about the poor women being tortured behind some of the closed doors, and that that would also be me sooner rather than later!

And to make it even more real, I've started packing mine and bub's bag ready for hospital. Do you think I'll overpack? Hell yes. Placemat size maxi-pads and enormous underwear to match, breast pads, nappies - and that's just for me!

So, this didn't turn out to be so quick after all, but rest assured, I don't have much longer to go! And I can't get too much bigger, can I?

35 - 36 weeks.. 'I carried a watermelon!'

Just over 4 weeks now til my due date. I got home from Tokyo this morning, so I'm ready whenever he is!!

My ob appointments start being every week from now, and I have one on Wednesday, so hopefully I'll be able to find out a guesstimate of how big he is going to be! Also, on Friday, I have a pre-admissions appointment at the Wesley to fill in all my paperwork so it doesn't have to be done when I'm in labour. It's getting very close and very real!

Bub hanging out nice and low.

My view..

Belly button looking wierd, and shape of tummy looking like a watermelon.

Big, heavy and uncomfortable! Did my stomach used to be flat? I can't remember. It seriously feels like a lifetime ago!

33 weeks 5 days - 25 April

Here is me today! I had an appointment a few days ago, and again, everything went well! I feel like my tummy has grown, though I haven't actually put on any weight in the past couple of weeks (lost a few hundred grams, in fact). Dr Turner said the baby has switched sides.... his back is now down my right side and his arms and legs all tucked into my left. No wonder I feel so much movement all the time! His head is still right down. I wonder if I will get that pregnant lady waddle in a few weeks time?! We always listen to his heartbeat, and Dr Turner always comments on how strong and healthy it is. Each appointment, he talks and teaches me about something new. Last time, it was circumcision... this week it was perinial massage. In his words, 'Tearing is no good for either of us. More work for me. More pain for you.'

Just over 6 weeks to go now. At the moment, I don't feel too scared or nervous about the birth, rather very excited and determined to read and learn as much as I can about my body and what it will go through. It's quite amazing!! I've been reading this book called New Active Birth which is very helpful and makes me feel powerful and eager to 'give it all a go' and prove to myself I can do it! It's a strange feeling I suppose, and I always thought I'd feel more scared than anything (perhaps that will come soon!) but, for now, I am looking forward to challenging myself and feeling that rush and sense of achievment. Not to mention, the wonderful little present at the end!

Mum hosted a beautiful baby shower for me yesterday. Together, we decided to theme it 'Little red car', with everything being blue and red. We lunched on lots of different home made salads, noodles, pilafs and lasagne, and breads and quiches from Le Bon Choix, followed by themed deserts from Cake Star and Le Bon Choix and a lolly buffet. It was perfect. I feel very lucky, and the baby and I were spoilt by everyone's presence and presents. Thank you xx

Start of my 8th month!

Our little man is finally getting some meat on him and I'm getting a biiiiig belly! This was the first time I wore a tight top which was interesting. It's funny how everyone smiles at you, and asks how much longer to go. (Too long!)

I had an appointment with my obstetrician a few days ago and all went very well. He's happy with how everything is progressing, for bub and I. He had a good feel of my tummy and told me how bub is lying. His head is still right down, with his back down my left side, and his arms and legs curled up on my right side (which is why I can always feel him tucking his feet up under my ribs - very uncomfortable!!). The amount he moves around is phenomenal, and if that is anything to go by, we are certainly going to have an active little boy on our hands.

The time is going quickly and with only just over 8 weeks to go, the excitement and anticipation of meeting our little fella is really starting to hit me! Will he be born with lots of hair or none? Will he be fair or dark? Will he look like one of us right from the beginning? Will he come early or late? Weigh 6 lbs 7 oz, like me, or 10 lbs 4 oz, like Nug? I can't wait to meet him, cuddle him, love him. (By the way, last night I dreamt I had a girl!)

I'm still feeling pretty good, though I do struggle on these hot days. I feel out of breath doing just the simplest of things, and my back aches like I can't explain. I'm dying to sleep on my tummy again! I feel big and a little off balance. I toppled forward the other day and fell down the stairs, grazing my knee! The next 8 weeks are certainly going to be interesting!

29 weeks and 5 days - 28 March

These are the comfiest belly undies in the world! I bought a pair just to test them out, half joking/half curious, but the support around the stomach is just lovely. I will be going out to buy more of these sexy pants. This is the treat Nug got before he headed back to Japan this morning!

My belly is growing at a faster rate these days. It has really grown alot in the last 2 weeks. I can now feel him kicking my ribs and it's quite uncomfortable at times. I can't believe I only have 10 weeks to go!

I went and had a very thorough ultrasound on Wednesday, at a specialist ultrasound place. It's routine to do it at 20-22 weeks gestation but they don't really offer it in Japan so we decided we'd go and have a good look at our little one. It was quite exciting. They checked the baby all over... his nose, mouth, feet, kidneys, stomach... you name it. We saw the 4 chambers of his heart, the blood flow, the aorta. It was magical! (And of course we were very proud and relieved when they said his heart was 'textbook' perfect!) After they did all the routine checks, which took about 45 minutes (he was being a bit difficult though I appreciate it must be squashy in there), they took some amazing 4D pictures of him. These took ages to get because he wouldn't move his hands and feet away from his face, but eventually the second sonographer was able to get a few good ones. It is a bit crazy seeing him look so real, with his chubby cheeks and button nose. I can't stop looking at the photos. Love at first sight!

The past 4 weeks have gone so quickly, and now Nug is on his way back to Japan. I just hope the next 10 weeks go just as quick and our little family can be together again. It's going to be a tough couple of months and we'll miss each other so so much, but we have this amazing little surprise to think about now that will make it all worthwhile.

27 weeks & 2 days - 12 March

Here is my latest belly shot! Even though it has grown a fair bit since the last time I took pictures, it seems that strangers STILL don't even realise I'm pregnant. I'm basically at the start of my third trimester! You can see my belly button is stretching (though I don't think it will pop out?) and I'm starting to get that dark line down the centre of my belly.

I had my first appointment with my obstetrician, Dr Ross Turner, on Monday and all went very well! He's a lovely man, very cheeky and witty, and I know we'll be comfortable with him. I finally got the whole pregnancy talk, about diet and exercise, the pros and cons of vaginal vs ceasarean births, and pain relief, which was all very interesting. He had a look at the baby and I asked him to confirm the gender - he said it looked like scrotum to him! He also said the baby is very low, with his head right down, and was concerned that, because of this, my cervix might have been a couple of centimetres dilated. He checked, and fortunately it's not! No early labour for me, thanks!

Boys names are proving to be more difficult than girls names. There are a few that we like equally, and I know it's going to be hard to choose just one. All I know is that it has to be a 'tough' name!

We are loving being back in Australia, though the time is going far too quickly. Mum and Dad had a lovely surprise waiting for us on our arrival. They had turned the room adjoining our bedroom into a beautiful nursery. The draws are filled with adorable clothes, hats and bibs (boys and girls!), and the shelves are stacked with toys and blankets. (Maybe I should leave him here when we go back to Tokyo!) This little boy is so spoilt already! Here are some pictures of our little one's Brisbane nursery at Mum and Dad's house.

Looking in from our bedroom.

Brightly coloured animal musical mobile..

..to match brightly coloured farm animal sheets.

Stuffed animals, blankets and toys.

Cute ladybug lamp!

Cow nappy stacker!

Baby's room in Tokyo

Well, we only had a week to do it, with no car (we caught the train, and walked in the rain and snow, with everything), no instructions in English, and not really any idea where to start, but I think we have the basics. We leave tomorrow, and I won't return til after the baby is born so I'm happy everything is organised!

From the doorway, the cot and shelves. Tidy for now!

Cute little toys to keep him occupied (instead of crying perhaps?). They all make little sounds when you squeeze or shake them (the aeroplane sounds like the inside of the womb, apparently!).

Spinning musical sun and toys.

Apparently you can never have too many wipes and tissues! Nappies are in the blue box.

Baby monitor ready to go!

The World of Peter Rabbit, on the shelves, ready for night time reading.

Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance

Kaloo playmat

24 weeks - It's a BOY!!

His appendage...

And a close up!

Wow, I am still in shock! I had my 24 week scan/check up yesterday and all went very well. We listened to the heartbeat, Dr Katayama took all the measurements, and calculated the baby's weight (now a whopping 621 grams!). Even though, at 20 weeks, he was 90% certain that it's a girl, he had told me to remind him to confirm the baby's gender, and lucky I did! "Honto!! ... Otokonoko!!" were the only words I could understand. Anne, the American nurse, was there to translate but Nug and I were already laughing. Its a boy! Finally, the cheeky little thing was ready to show it all off!

So, good-bye pink and hello blue! We're just as happy with a baby boy, and now we get to go through the name game all over again. In a way, I think Nug will have more to say with a little boy. "Lucy, you are NOT putting him in that outfit" and "Oh, don't baby him, we need to toughen him up." ("Nug, he's 2 months old!!") I can see it in my head already!

Everything else with the pregnancy is going really well. I get heartburn often, burp ALL the time, and am always thinking about my next meal. It's all very glamourous! Nug is being very supportive and is good at getting me snacks when I need them in the wee hours of the morning. At the moment, I'm craving a sausage roll and can't wait to have one (OK, two) when we get back to Australia next week!

23 weeks

So, here's the bump at 23 weeks, which is also the start of my 6th month of pregnancy, and the last month of the second trimester. I don't think a great deal has changed in the past couple of weeks? I seem to be carrying quite low and am still apparently quite small, which I think looks a little strange at this stage! I look like I have an abnormally long torso!

Not a great deal has happened in the past couple of weeks, except for the rather startling discovery that my colostrum has started to come in. It was news to me, but quite common in the second trimester. I'll let you google that one.

Her movement is also becoming more and more forceful and you can now see and feel it very obviously from the 'outside'. Nug is pretty impressed with this! Sometimes I can poke my belly, and she will kick back! Last night, I couldn't get to sleep - she was kicking and poking me from the inside, and Nug was on my right, twitching, kicking and laughing in his sleep. What a pair!

I have my last appointment in Japan next Tuesday, at 24 weeks, and then my first appointment with my obstetrician in Brisbane on the 8th March. They have been so wonderful over here at looking after me, but I can't wait to come back to Australia and meet my obstetrician, have a tour around the Wesley (where I will give birth), and start some classes!

Growing belly - 21 weeks

I just thought I'd quickly add some pictures of my growing belly this week. Perhaps the little one has been going through a growth spurt, because I've been feeling a dull ache in my tummy for a few days. I've read about this being referred to as round ligament pain - the ligaments around your uterus stretch and thicken to support the growth.

I've also noticed that what used to be delicate little flutters has turned into slightly more forceful and harder movement as she tries to settle and get comfortable. It already keeps me awake some nights, so I can only imagine what I have to look forward to as there becomes less and less space in there!

Nug bought me a 'pregnancy pillow' when I was sick in my first trimester. They're meant to help you sleep when it gets too uncomfortable to sleep on your stomach/back, and it sort of balances you out when you sleep on your side and throw a leg over. Well, I've gotten to the stage where I am ready to use it, but I'm too late - Nug has become too attached to it himself! I've substituted with something else, but do you think there is much room in our bed? Forget about it.

Half Way - 20 weeks

A couple of days ago, I had my highly anticipated gender scan, but believe it or not, our little one's gender was actually the last thing we were thinking about. Nug was able to come with me for the first time which was wonderful, and I know we both appreciated each others support. Before you start to think there is something wrong, let me say, there's definately not. I'll get to our baby in a minute but first I just want to take a moment to think about friends of ours who were forced to say good-bye to their growing little one this week, far too soon. I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through but our thoughts and deepest sympathies are with them, with love.

With everything now in perspective, we are even more grateful for the excellent health of our growing baby. I'll take heartburn and a sore back any day. Our appointment went really well, and the scan showed our beautifully developing little 300 gram alien! The heartbeat is still loud and strong, and its weight and anatomy measurements are all right on track. In the ultrasound picture above, you can see the spine, and the stomach (the black circle), and the doctor has put the cursor where its heart was beating. Because of the position the baby is in, Dr Katayama still couldn't get a visible of the boy/girl parts, but from the angles he could get, he said he is 90% sure its a girl....

We're both very excited! Nug wants her to have certain personality attributes of his so they can drive me crazy together, and I want to have a little friend who likes girly things and doesn't care about cricket! Would you believe we're already in negotiations regarding what sports she'll play?

My tummy is getting a little bit bigger every week, and I find that I am ALWAYS hungry. When your husband's reaction to your growing stomach (at a small 18 weeks, I might add!) is, 'Oh my god, that is bad,' it doesn't instill a lot confidence (he quickly back tracked and said it just 'caught him by surprise'), but now that he has seen (and heard) her, I think he might just believe I am in fact pregnant, and not just getting fat and lazy! All jokes aside, we are very lucky and are really enjoying this time. I can feel her moving around all the time, and I can't wait til Nug can start feeling those kicks and pokes too.

The Belly - 18 weeks

I can't believe I am 18 weeks, and into my fifth month. It's crazy how fast the time goes! It's lovely to finally be able to do normal things, and actually get excited about having our little baby in my tummy. I've started to feel it fluttering around, which is pretty surreal. It started on NYE - must have been the angelic voices at karaoke! It's very faint and I generally have to be not doing anything to properly notice it.

My tummy is finally growing, and though its still pretty unnoticable in clothes, I think, at my next appointment in 2 weeks, the tape measure will finally show a couple of extra centimetres growth around my abdomen. It's a pretty wierd stage where I don't really look pregnant, just like I have this potbelly type thing! Fortunately, all my clothes still fit though I wonder for how much longer?

We've been chatting about names, and we do agree on a few beautiful ones, but the discussion seems to go round in circles. True to form (my husband is VERY black and white), Nug likes two or three names and that's it. I do see his point: 'I like these names, why think of others?' but there are MANY shades of grey, and names that he just hasn't thought of! We 'vito' each others suggestions that we absoloutely don't like (he thinks some of mine are too pretentious, and I think some of his are too 'rugby league'). It's also very hard to get away from the 'I knew/taught a (insert name) and don't like it anymore.' Maybe we'll just name it Tokyo.

I can't wait for my next scan in 2 weeks. Hopefully the little one cooperates this time round. I can't believe it will be my second last appointment in Japan!